Camions and Raw Emotions

I feel like I've been hit by a camion. Seriously, I've been doing the drinking thing for about 10 years now, so WHY do I continue to drink myself stupid? Last night at the UN's birthday party (the UN is what we affectionately call the house where Michael, Ramiro and Antje live, as they are all from different parts of the world), there was plenty of wine to be had. I had found a CA Zinfandel at Carrefour and decided on that as my contribution (all due respect to my wine connesieur fiance, Gallo is still crap, I don't know why I listened to you about that one). Of course, CA wine has a much higher alcohol content than French wine, a fact I know yet somehow seem to conveniently forget. I finished a good chunk of that bottle moi-meme, then moved onto more wine, more wine, a beer (thinking maybe one beer would help fight off the wine drunkenness), then the Champagne came out... I don't even know what time it was when I finally said, "I need to go home. Now." Rich was a homey and walked me all the way back into centre ville, a good 45 minute walk. I don't know who all I did/didn't say goodbye to. I was such a mess when I came home that my initial idea of eating something was soon abandoned as I konked out on my bed, sans face-washing or teeth-brushing. Ugh. In all honesty I would still be happily asleep if I hadn't decided to text Mere to see if she wanted to go for a kebab. Turns out she stayed at the UN last night, and they are going to the factory outlets today for the soldes (way to add insult to injury-- I am too broke to shop!). I may tag along, but considering I am A) broke and B) hungover, it may not be a great idea. Plus, I know it will be a mob scene. I do want to be social at every given opportunity though; I have noticed I get depressed when I don't have enough human interaction.
I wanted a kebab but I don't want to put forth the effort of getting dressed, going out, and getting one.
And I just really got a sad wave of missing Jess. He always takes good care of me when I'm in this state. I can't believe it's been almost a week since he left. I miss him so much. Please God, don't make me wait another 4 months to see him again...